• The Art of Conversation

    Posted on December 12th, 2008 by and currently 4 commenting.

    Was talking yesterday about the rise in online communities and heard a nugget of wisdom: “If it has to go through legal, it isn’t a conversation.”

    Which got me thinking, what does make a conversation? Is there an art to having conversations with consumers? With employees?

    You’ve probably heard the adage that the art of conversation is dead. Not true. If you need proof, simply try having a conversation with a toddler. The other day my three-year old daughter asked my husband and father what happened to (my husband’s) car stereo.  They told her that a bad man took it. She thought about that. Then asked “Where’s the bad guy?” Thinking she was scared that he might come back, they told her not to worry… that he was gone.

    “Where?”

    “Far away.”

    “But where is he?”

    “He’s far, far away. He won’t come back.”

    “But where did he go?”

    …

    After about 10 more questions like this, my dad finally said “He’s in a cave. In Mexico.”

    But it didn’t end there. By the end of the ride, the bad guy was living in a cave, with bats, south of Guadelajara. And my dad spent the rest of Thanksgiving showing her caves and bats on the Internet.

    Now I certainly don’t mean to imply that companies should make something up just to get us to go away. Just illustrating the point that we’re hard-wired to engage in conversation. To ask questions until we’re blue in the face. And see through veiled attempts to placate with superficial answers. We’re always digging for more. And we trust the sources that deliver.

    A voice is perhaps the single greatest source of human empowerment. Consumers aren’t going to stop using theirs. So learning the art of conversation with them is a key to any company’s success in the future. “Press 1 to route your call correctly” doesn’t cut it. Neither does a broken record of a brand’s positioning statement. Or community forums where customers ask questions, but get no answers.

    I could go on, but I don’t think I could illustrate this point any better than Francois Gossieaux did with this story he shared on his blog yesterday. Now that’s funny.

  • http://thebrandbuilder.wordpress.com olivier blanchard

    You had me at “If it has to go through Legal, it isn’t a conversation.” :D

    Brilliant. And the fact that you’re linking to my good friend Francois = even better.

    Great post, Justine. :)

  • http://www.brainsonfire.com Justine

    I am sorry to hear Olivier that Francois has taken the post down. Now others won’t get to enjoy. Hope you did!

  • http://www.themurr.com DaveMurr

    Why would a conversation have to go through legal?

    Comments like this boggle my mind. One of the most human traits is talking to each other – regardless how: in person, pen, letter, email, phone, Twitter. The art of conversation isn’t dead and you example of your daughter perfectly illustrates this.

  • K.J. Jantzen

    Great story Justine!

    Three year olds (mine is no exception) remind us that there is both an art and a science to conversation. Artful conversation can rile the masses, swoon the reluctant and convince the skeptical all the while imparting no real nuggets of wisdom or information. We all strive to master this artful talent to make us sound more credible.

    Ironically, it takes a three year old to remind us that conversation should also seek to dig beneath the prose to the message and meaning. As you aptly point out J, the endless spin of modern rhetoric too often seeks to placate rather than educate. The science of conversation should seek the truth in all its forms. I fear that too often this best of our childhood traits is actively repressed in our society. In fact I spend everyday trying to get young adults to think like three year olds again!