• Relationships are a commodity

    Posted on March 20th, 2009 by and currently 13 commenting.

    At least that’s how I feel sometimes when I’m on (fill in the blank with the most popular social media do-dad today). Because as much as I believe that there’s an educational curve to simply learning how to use these new tools, there’s also an educational curve on the philosophies of why and how you should use these tools. Right now, the popularity to social media is skyrocketing and you can’t swing a Twitter without finding someone who is a self-proclaimed expert or is teaching a seminar every week on “best practices.” And while I believe their intentions are good, what their audiences ultimately hear is all about the almighty numbers.

    How many friends? How many fans? How many followers can you get in the least amount of time? In other words, the huge devaluing of relationships. Maybe it’s how the vast majority of humans are programmed to think these days – especially in the marketing world: more is better. More followers on Twitter means more people know about me and more people will buy my service/product. Right? Just like a SuperBowl spot means more eyeballs which means more sales, right?

    I’ll let you draw your own conclusion from that one.

    But, as we all know, relationships are NOT a commodity. And never will be. I know a lot of people that would help me out if I begged them to and just a handful that would come to my rescue before I even opened my mouth. They are the ones that have got my back. It’s the STRENGTH of the relationships that I have, not the NUMBER.

    I’m as excited as anybody about all the very cool new social media bells and whistles that are constantly emerging. But I’m not excited about what has turned into a contest for many. Because in their eyes – if they realize it or not – relationships have become a commodity. And if the numbers become your guiding light, you’re about due to step off a cliff.

  • http://www.800ceoread.com Jon

    “there’s also an educational curve on the philosophies of why and how you should use these tools”

    Indeed. Every time I’m about to post something, I think to myself, “I’m about to say something to a group of people. Why are these people here? What do they want to happen in this situation?”

    What you say is true — Those that relate in any way to my random, often ‘required taste,’ non-promotional posts can potentially become friends of sort – and that is more useful and beneficial in so many ways, seen and unseen, than ‘getting hits.’ If someone ever wants to buy something from me, I’ll gladly accommodate. But that’s not how I want to introduce myself every time I enter a forum.

    Thanks, as always, Spike, for the clarity.

    Jon

  • http://thelivebrand.com Greg

    “It’s the STRENGTH of the relationships that I have, not the NUMBER.”

    You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you shouldn’t… anyway. Thanks for being strong.

    G

  • Rob

    We are living in a day when sociologists, for the first time in history refer to people living in the western part of the world as “consumers” instead of human beings. Could it be that this applies even in our so called “relationships”? I think I’ll stick to having a few human friends and relationships rather than virtual ones.
    I wonder if this “skyrocketing of social media” will eventually get so hot that it will burn itself up. Kind of like…ummmm…..a skyrocket? Until then, I’ve got your back Spike.

    -Rob

  • http://plasticless.com Martin

    Years ago I added ALL of the puppets on MySpace to my friends list. It was a kind of performance art aiming to point out some of the points that you make here. Most of them friended me back (Grover is an elitest, self-centered bastard).

  • http://www.mararoberts.net63.net Mara Roberts

    Thanks for the article- from what I have seen, some marketers get so caught up in the numbers that they end up with this huge list of nameless customers that they have to ‘cater’ for. Not realising that by sending messages to the big audience that is keeping them so busy – they miss out on opportunities to make their brand meaningful to smaller groups. It seems that if you go for the mass market- you’ll end up with nothing- but if you spend your money on creating meaningful messages for smaller target goups- they’ll turn their heads.

  • http://www.themurr.com DaveMurr

    I think ABC should read this post. Do you really believe it is hard drived into our subconscious to gather and horde numbers. I argue that though we accumulate and tick off the hunter gatherer mentality, that there is a stronger and more deep rooted desire to connect with people and share information. Whats your thoughts on that?

  • http://www.unitedlinen.com Scott Townsend

    Good job. A philosophy I enthusiastically endorse.

  • http://www.davidlano.com/blog David Lano

    Well said. Again it’s the whole permission based marketing philosophy.

    The relationship is developed through natural occurrences, not just a few extra clicks. Numbers are important, but only if those numbers are a reflection of a permission based relationship. When will people get this!

  • Matt

    I agree in a tremendous way!

    It’s sad to see people that I have worked with in the past (masters of energizing small groups to do amazing things through tremendous loyalty) post stories about “How I got 500 twitter followers in two weeks!” and “How to leverage your Facebook friends for business”.

    Talk about losing the plot…

  • http://beckmanp.wordpress.com/ Beckman Perry

    I really enjoyed this post. For one, it makes you think of what exactly the numbers represent to a potential client. Why as you pointed out, it may be great to have thousands of followers on Twitter or friends on Facebook, but what does that truly mean to you as a business? In a strange way this post reminds me of the rapper Kanye West. In recent weeks he has expressed a desire to have less fans. Now at a first glance, I thought that seemed senseless and a bit egotistical. However, Kanye is demonstrating the strength of quality relationships over numbers. Simply because he has millions of “fans” does not mean that he has millions of people that purchase his music, attend his concerts, or keep an up to date accounts on his life. If his relationships with fans are what is most important to Kanye then this request seems valid based on your above post. This argument seems to be all around us and is truly a simple statistical question, which is better quality or quantity?

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  • http://monkblogs.blogspot.com monika

    awesome guys.
    i just joined twitter yesterday. some smart friends are helping me get my feet wet – but they can’t block all that goes on. i must say – after 20 some people asked to follow me – and i went to their profile to see what cool thing we had in common – and it was nothing – well – it’s just a little unsettling. i always look for the best in people – so i’m going to say they’re just being friendly – but tritely so. i even thought it was my civic duty to accept – but then i imagined trite topics in the future.
    so – i’m just chiming in to say – awesome post. i’m feeling good vibes once again about the potential of twitter in my life.
    hope you don’t mind me posting this on my blogsite – mostly seen by highschool kids.
    just let me know if you’d rather i didn’t.

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