That Blasted Survey Again?

Time to wrap up our Net Promoter survey for 2009. If we have had the good fortune to work with you or for you recently, and you haven’t had a chance to give us your feedback, we’d love for you to take 3 minutes to tell us whether you’d recommend us and why you would do so enthusiastically, or with pause.

Here’s the link

For those of you who have already taken the survey (Thank you!) or don’t feel that you know us well enough to answer the ultimate question (we’d love to get to know you better), I thought I’d offer some hopefully humorous musing on surveys to go with your cup of morning joe.

Specifically telemarketing surveys.

Remember this clip from Seinfeld (thanks to Spike for reminding me)



That’s pretty good. But I think my husband can top Jerry on this one. I will admit that despite signing up for No call lists at least 5 times, AND having caller ID, I still answer the phone. Which I promptly then hand to my husband just to see what he comes up with off the top of his head. Here are some of my favorites from recent memory.

# 5

Can I please speak to the head of the household?

(in a child’s voice) “Mommy… Mommy….”

(Then he just puts the phone down and walks away until they hang up)

# 4

(in digital voice) I am a computer. Are you a computer?
insert string of random computer-like noises here
Does not compute.
(click)

# 3

I will answer your survey if you first tell me whether you have
A) Been working there for less than 2 months
B) Between 2 and 6 months
C) Between 6 months and a year
D) Over a year
(the guy actually answered his question before he hung up)

#2 (This was actually in response to his alma mater which kept calling for donations)

I would like to donate the amount that it costs to cover calling me long-distance 4x a week for about a whole year. Let’s total it up…

That’s great. How would you like to pay for that?

How about this? Don’t call me anymore.

(silence….click.)

#1

Using the touch-tone pad, please enter the name of the survey company that you work for.
Press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish.

I could keep going…. If you have a good story. Please share!

2 Responses to “That Blasted Survey Again?”

  1. July 16, 2009 at 5:13 am, Tracy said:

    I love the computer one! I think I might try it but I need to work on my beeps first. Or I could take a hint from Spaceballs and work on my bleeps, sweeps, and creeps. Nice post ;D

    Reply

  2. July 16, 2009 at 1:31 pm, Geoff said:

    I’m a pianist, so when the telemarketing call comes in I say, “All of our customers are busy right now, but your call is very important to us. Please enjoy the music while you hold.” Then I put the phone on the piano and play something appropriately cheesy (Hey, Jude a la Elevator Music). Once in a while, someone stays on the line, so I just continue with, “All of our customers are still busy, but your call is very important to us…” It’s a small thing, but it’s annoying.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>