Listening. Again.

Posted on October 15th, 2009 by Robbin and currently 4 commenting.

Okay. I write a lot about lessons learned on this blog. I often say my years at Brains on Fire have been one long grad school experience.

So — yesterday I was asked to sit in and listen to a small group discussion on a project that is very important to one of our clients. I pulled up to my location and just sat in the car for a bit. I wanted to remind myself that LISTENING was my only role. I literally repeated that to myself about three times so it would really sink in. I was not facilitating, not running the show. Not asked for input. Just simply ask to be present to listen and observe.

And whoa. I learned more in that hour and half than I have in really long time. While I can’t give out the exact details since it was a confidential discussion, I’ll generalize and share my lessons learned.

1. Your employees are a huge mountain of ideas and knowledge. Don’t assume you understand what their lives are like. If you are in top management do yourself a favor and ask for ideas and suggestions often. Then carve out time to listen. REALLY listen. Without objections, interruptions or explanations. Just allow yourself time to listen.

2. Solutions to really big issues sometimes start with tiny “duh” like changes. This particular group made two tiny and very cost effective suggestions that I believe if implemented could create dramatic change.

3. When you want something to change and it involves people, don’t state the obvious over arching or business reason for change. Make the end goal very, very personal.

4. On some level, all humans have the same basic emotional needs. Last night at dinner my daughter told me a story of how she changed seats in one of her more difficult classes. (Needed to be removed from friends so she could listen better.) And in doing that she met someone new, struck up a conversation and a bit of a friendship. She told me that neither one of them seemed likely to be friends based on their passions and backgrounds, but she really enjoyed their conversations after class.

I was reminded of this same thing yesterday. Everyone in that discussion came from very, very diverse and different backgrounds, but we all had a lot in common when we set our minds to a common challenge. All of us walking on this planet have way more in common, than we often acknowledge. We are all the same on the inside. We long to be heard. Long to help. And long to be a part of some bigger purpose in life.

I am going to have that listening conversation with myself more often.