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  • Do we all know why we are here?

    Posted on December 30th, 2009 by Robbin and currently 7 commenting.

    Megan sent me a great article this morning from the New York Times. It was an interview with Teresa Taylor, COO of Quest.

    Like Teresa, listening is a skill I am constantly trying to improve and master. (Can anyone really become a master at listening?)

    Hmmmm…

    I am always intrigued when leaders admit that they struggle with listening. After I have a conversation with someone I actually ask myself. Was I listening? Do I understand what this person would like me to do — or maybe not do? It’s an interesting thing to study and question.

    Here are some things I have learned. Okay, pretty basic stuff but worth saying out loud as we head for a shiny New Year.

    Sometimes listening is simply observing. Sometimes it is repeating back what another person has said. But like Teresa I have learned that it is also a zen like interest in the messages others are sending you. You have to stay totally present in the moment.

    Geno has a phrase he says out loud once every so often and I love it. It is a part of his crazy, simple brilliance. “Work on being interested, not interesting.” That single mindset is what makes him a remarkable speaker, thinker and listener. (Although I have to say those cranberry chinos do make him pretty interesting to look at some days.)

    But back to my question?

    The real point of interest for me in Teresa’s interview is this: When asked if there is anything unusual about the way she runs meetings, she said the first thing she asks everyone is “Do we all know why we are here?”. She goes on to say that so many people will actually answer “No, I was just invited.”

    She also ask these simple questions: “Are you going to ask me for something at the end?” And “Does everyone need to be here?” Often people, after understanding the real reason and the expectations for the meeting, will politely bow out.

    I love that. Love that!

    Here’s to making the coming months useful, purposeful and magical. Believe it. I do.

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  • http://www.mattscottnelson.com Matthew Nelson

    Wow…you smoked me twice there:

    “Work on being interested, not interesting” and “Do we all know why we’re here”?

    At every meeting we’re at, we’re all asking ourselves that question in our heads, but no one asks it out loud.

    However, I’d add to that: “Unless you’re presenting, leave your laptops at the door. If you feel you can multitask in this meeting, you don’t really need to be here – we’ll send you the notes”

  • http://www.fullcirclepr.com Kim Banks

    Early in my career I got feedback from a supervisor during an annual review. He said, “You don’t speak up in meetings and you don’t ask questions. You might as well not be there.” It was some of the best feedback I ever received. I was so afraid I would ask a question that was somehow irrelevant – or that my comments would be viewed as unnecessary. And to be honest, sometimes I didn’t know why I was in the meeting.

    But through this feedback I realized that if I am invited somewhere – whether in a personal or professional situation – then I need to put myself out there and participate in the dialogue, ask questions and listen to everyone around me. This is the best way to learn how you can be a resource, a partner, a friend – and I think it’s great that Taylor is challenging those around her to be aware of their role in every meeting.

  • http://brainsonfire.com Robbin

    Matthew and Kim, I love your additions to this conversation.

    Matthew, you are right about the multi-tasking thing. One of the thing I love about the brains on fire culture is we seldom do that thing of typing in a meeting. Maybe it is our love of moleskins that helps. Goodness knows we have some amazing doodles. (I heard one that actually helps visual thinkers focus.)

    Kim, I struggle too with people who are not engaged in a meeting. So well said. Thanks for sharing. I often invite myself to meetings with the single role of listening. But you have to state that up front for sure.

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